So I’ve had my best kill game in Fortnite! This has made me even more excited to play the game! I have only been playing the game for about a month or so. So for me to gt 6 kills in squad mode has made me extremely happy! 😀 I have a link with the video for you right here!Click ME! 6 Kill Game
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Every single day I hurt inside. I feel as if I can not live up to my expectations. It has always been two steps forward three steps backwards.
I have learned so many lessons yet I am still stuck. How does everyone else make it look so easy. Does anyone else even suffer in the ways that I do? Why can’t I see it?? Why do I feel so alone..
The question I’ve been getting asked a lot since I started streaming was if I got bullied. Growing up a I got bullied a lot!
I got bullied at school every day. So many times where I would end up cutting myself to see if I could feel any pain. I didn’t really care if I died as I didn’t have to walk into a school where it would be hell for me everyday.
It wasn’t just the students that bullied me but the teachers too. When I was in 7th grade a teacher was being mean to me in front if the whole class. I said a couple things as a joke to maybe get her off my back. But it escalated quickly. She told me that her entire family was going to put me 9 feet under. I was a teenager so I said it is only 6 feet. She replied with my family it is 9 feet. What happened was I got kicked out of school when the teacher complained. They didn’t investigate the teacher or ask any of the other students what happened. That year I won the most awards in the school as I participated a lot.
The following year when I returned I didn’t like school. I became afraid of the teachers as well. I don’t think I won any awards that year and I became ill a lot as well. I then had to deal with a teacher that would throw all my books on the ground and soon as she walked in. All my papers, homework everything would go flying. I had to pick this up by myself everytime and I would usually just leave the class when this had happened.
Computer Lab was even more damaging. Being in middle school with teenageboys going through puberty. The guys used to take air in a can for the keyboards and spray my breasts with it. So I feared if the teacher ever had to pop out of the room for a moment. How could I ever go get help about that. Far too embarrassing.
Also, when I hit puberty I didn’t like going outside. I hated being on my period. I still hate getting my period. So instead of going outside and exercising I stayed inside and ate candy bars. A few days after going to cross country practice I got a letter in the mail. It seems one of my classmates was on holiday in California and heard I got fat. So I was posted a newspaper clipping of an obese person with diet information that specifically told me I was that obese person. I started crying and my mom asked me what happened. I never told my mom about getting bullied by my peers. But I showed her this and she cried too. She couldn’t believe it as well. But I don’t think she informed the school either.
I wasn’t a popular kid growing up. I wasn’t sure if the few friends I had were even my friend. The girl that was supposed to be my best friend had different friends at school. We didn’t talk much at school I guess I didn’t want to ruin her reputation.
In high school there was a popular kid yelling at a non popular kid. I told off the popular kid. Then the teacher yelled at the unpopular kid. I explained what happened to the teacher that the popular kid was bullying the unpopular kid. The teacher got pissed at me. I was proud of myself for standing up for this kid he was always getting picked on. About 2 minutes later the vice principal was in the room to take who out of the class? Not the one who bullied or got bullied but me. I thought why am I the only one getting taken to the office? The vice principal said you are getting a 4 hour Saturday detention for what I did. To this dad I don’t know the reason it was never explained. I can only assume now that I am older that the teacher must have thought I was taking back to her.
Nobody at our school ever listened. I think within a couple years after O graduated a kid committed suicide from my high school. He was apparently bullied a lot. I can only wish I fought the system more and stood up for myself more that maybe that kid would of had a chance. If he got punished for doing good things as well. I will never know everything that happened in his case. I just hope that schools deal with things better. Now that all these kids have phones and even more bullying can happen. I just hope people learn it is wrong and don’t do it.
I always wanted to get out of school younger so I could work. I thought at work none of this childlike shit happens. Let me tell you now. Every single job I’ve had I’ve been bullied at. People still act like they are 3 at the office as well. So study hard and get yourself your own business.
I have a friend who loves to write but doesn’t blog. She has had written plays that have been performed. But when I asked her why she doesn’t blog she said because nobody would care what she has to say. She said my blog matters because I help people with mine.
And I thought.. hold up!! You have been through so much in your life! You have experiences you can help people with. And she can be an inspiration to the younger generation in her community as well.
She has grown up in one of the most segregated cities in America! I am sure she can write a lot to inspire all of the young girls coming up the same way.
She could teach them so much! She can teach them to be brave. To be happy in your own skin. To not let anyone put a label on them. How to accept themselves. Inspire them to know there is more in life for them to go after.
I wish she would see she mattered too! She has so many things she can help people with! And she can open up about her depression and what she does to help her cope.
I’m going to challenge her to pick a few good qualities about herself and to write about them! And how did she get those good qualities and how they have helped made her life better!
Girl, everyone matters! You matter! Start changing the world by sharing your experiences to help other people going through them. Be that mentor they can look to for guidance.
Build yourself up and share yourself with the world! Kindness goes far my friend! Can’t wait to read what you write!
This game has become a big part of my life in the last month or so. I remember when the game first came out and I tried it for a few days and really liked it. But I could not find anyone to play it with me and I kind of stopped playing video games all together.I tried to keep up to date about all of the skins and branding that was going into it like NFL skins etc.
The thing that I really like about Fortnite is the community that the game has. If you play any mode other than solo, strangers that are your teammates you don’t even know try to help you. They are always bring you weapons or healing you! It is nice to see teamwork in this game and the strategy. Of course you an team up with your friends and family but when you are new to the game it so cool to see that support in the game!
I am lucky because I have a headset so I can communicate with other players easily. I have met people from all over the world in this game who have always been so positive! People always want to teach others how to be better in the game and it makes me really happy to be a part of this.
I’ve had people invite me to creative play which is just people that know eachother and are friends with whoever hosts their own map. In this mode so many have taken the time to help me build structures like ramps, 90s or buildings. And they have also taught me how to edit doors and windows. I think the next bit might be to edit stairs or work on editing my builds during game-play! But I am so happy that people don’t get frustrated teaching me to build anything. I always wonder if they taught themselves or if someone else was kind to them and helped them to learn to build too!
I explain the game best by saying it is Call of Duty and Minecraft having a baby! Hahahah You have to shoot like in COD and you have to build like a Minecraft player. The younger generation has really picked up the game play quickly! Me being 31 years old it is a bunch of stepping stones to progress as far as I have so far. But what is nice about this is when I say I have only played for around a month people say I am pretty good. So that makes me want to try harder so I can be like Ninja or TimTheTatMan!
The other bit about creative is that other players can create worlds for you to play on. They like to have challenges that are called Death Runs! In a death run it is like a puzzle and only 1 way to escape each level. If you don’t escape correctly you die and have to restart. This can be a lot of fun to play with a friend!
For all of you Fortniters out there I was just wondering what is your favourite things about Fortnite!!!?!??!
Incase we haven’t checked in for a while I want you to know that I miss you! I wonder how you are all the time! I don’t want to bother you at work or while you sleep. And I want to know how your day is going. So please touch base with me whenever you think of me. I won’t ever be mad or upset I will just be glad you took the time to show you still cared about me. So come say hi!