The question I’ve been getting asked a lot since I started streaming was if I got bullied. Growing up a I got bullied a lot!
I got bullied at school every day. So many times where I would end up cutting myself to see if I could feel any pain. I didn’t really care if I died as I didn’t have to walk into a school where it would be hell for me everyday.
It wasn’t just the students that bullied me but the teachers too. When I was in 7th grade a teacher was being mean to me in front if the whole class. I said a couple things as a joke to maybe get her off my back. But it escalated quickly. She told me that her entire family was going to put me 9 feet under. I was a teenager so I said it is only 6 feet. She replied with my family it is 9 feet. What happened was I got kicked out of school when the teacher complained. They didn’t investigate the teacher or ask any of the other students what happened. That year I won the most awards in the school as I participated a lot.
The following year when I returned I didn’t like school. I became afraid of the teachers as well. I don’t think I won any awards that year and I became ill a lot as well. I then had to deal with a teacher that would throw all my books on the ground and soon as she walked in. All my papers, homework everything would go flying. I had to pick this up by myself everytime and I would usually just leave the class when this had happened.
Computer Lab was even more damaging. Being in middle school with teenageboys going through puberty. The guys used to take air in a can for the keyboards and spray my breasts with it. So I feared if the teacher ever had to pop out of the room for a moment. How could I ever go get help about that. Far too embarrassing.
Also, when I hit puberty I didn’t like going outside. I hated being on my period. I still hate getting my period. So instead of going outside and exercising I stayed inside and ate candy bars. A few days after going to cross country practice I got a letter in the mail. It seems one of my classmates was on holiday in California and heard I got fat. So I was posted a newspaper clipping of an obese person with diet information that specifically told me I was that obese person. I started crying and my mom asked me what happened. I never told my mom about getting bullied by my peers. But I showed her this and she cried too. She couldn’t believe it as well. But I don’t think she informed the school either.
I wasn’t a popular kid growing up. I wasn’t sure if the few friends I had were even my friend. The girl that was supposed to be my best friend had different friends at school. We didn’t talk much at school I guess I didn’t want to ruin her reputation.
In high school there was a popular kid yelling at a non popular kid. I told off the popular kid. Then the teacher yelled at the unpopular kid. I explained what happened to the teacher that the popular kid was bullying the unpopular kid. The teacher got pissed at me. I was proud of myself for standing up for this kid he was always getting picked on. About 2 minutes later the vice principal was in the room to take who out of the class? Not the one who bullied or got bullied but me. I thought why am I the only one getting taken to the office? The vice principal said you are getting a 4 hour Saturday detention for what I did. To this dad I don’t know the reason it was never explained. I can only assume now that I am older that the teacher must have thought I was taking back to her.
Nobody at our school ever listened. I think within a couple years after O graduated a kid committed suicide from my high school. He was apparently bullied a lot. I can only wish I fought the system more and stood up for myself more that maybe that kid would of had a chance. If he got punished for doing good things as well. I will never know everything that happened in his case. I just hope that schools deal with things better. Now that all these kids have phones and even more bullying can happen. I just hope people learn it is wrong and don’t do it.
I always wanted to get out of school younger so I could work. I thought at work none of this childlike shit happens. Let me tell you now. Every single job I’ve had I’ve been bullied at. People still act like they are 3 at the office as well. So study hard and get yourself your own business.