Achieving your goal vs what you become from achieving your goals!

Zig Ziglar -What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.

I really like this quote!

Say your goal is to plan a trip to London and you have never left American before. Never even left your own state. I am personally from Ohio and a lot of people from Cleveland have never left the state!

So what you would have to do is get your passport.
Then you would have to buy a flight and accommodation.
And you would have to pick what you would want to do while you are there.
Plus you need to plan to budget the money. Food and train tickets.

If you didn’t ever make the trip to London you wouldn’t have learned all of these skills. And by doing this you will be more likely to plan trips to other destinations. You will become more inspired and self confident in yourself!

So it i will be great that you went to London which was your goal but it is even better that you have experienced the entire process as that has now become a huge part of you!

So by traveling to London you are labeled and international traveler. Sure that sounds cool and everything. But look at the bigger picture. You have learned financial planning skills. You have done research on traveling and about the Country and culture itself. It is about everything that goes into creating this experience because it is building who you are as a person. Your friends and family will be amazed by this and ask you a lot of questions based on your experience too. You will be adding value to your life and to the people around you as well.

So I hope you can see the difference!

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2 Nights in Toronto

Hey Good People,

I do apologize. It’s been a while since my last post. Sarah had to get on my tail. And hey, to be honest, sometimes we need a little push from our friends. Sometimes we need to hear from our closest friends “you should do that” or “you deserve this” because let’s face it, sometimes we don’t know what we need.

This past July 4th holiday, I had another friend of mines encourage me do something for myself.  I had just gotten back literally the day before in the wee hours of the morning (I think around 1 AM).  I traveled with my dad and his wife to my cousin’s wedding in the Dominican Republic. I’d had no cell service (only wifi) but I wasn’t complaining. The wedding was beautiful. The weather was amazing, and after getting over my initial jitters, everything turned out excellent.

Well, the day before we were to return home, I get a wifi call from a relative crying that she’d gotten my car towed. Not only that,  she was afraid that I wouldn’t trust her again because of it. Of course I was upset but, me being me, I didn’t get too upset because I let her use it and well, what kind of person would I be to just blow up on someone who’s crying? I’ve been manipulated for so long I automatically take fault and feel guilty for something I didn’t even do. But I digress.

Upon returning home, I stayed over my dad’s house for the night, my house keys being with my car keys with the relative who has fallen asleep by the time we land. Rightfully so, it is 1 AM. So, come the next morning, my dad and I, take this family member to work and also have to babysit because they waited to late to get their child to day care. I get a ride to the impound and not only do I have to pay for the tow, I have to also pay for the other tickets that this same family member got on another car that they never paid for. Over $400 dollars later, I ride off the lot and thank God, my dad treats me and the little one to breakfast, because who knows when I last ate.

Later that day I pick up the relative from work, she pays me half for the tow, and drop her and the little one off. (He’s really no trouble. He’s amazing might I add). I go straight home and pass out. The next morning I sit in bed, exhausted, depleted and feeling not like myself. I won’t say depression exactly, because I do deal with that a lot, but it was something else. I felt like I didn’t have control over my life anymore. With a birthday right around the corner, it seemed as though I hadn’t done anything to celebrate how far I’d come since a year ago.

Talking to a friend of my on the phone explaining these feelings, he finally asked me: “Where do you want to go?” “Canada, Toronto” I say. “Well, go to Canada!” He says, all matter of fact-like. “Yeah, OK.” I’m thinking. I’d just came from an out of country trip and I just came off $400, and here I am about to go on another trip?

He looked up some hotels and found one, right in the heart of Toronto. I checked it out. It looked nice, but really? Go to Canada? Solo? Hmmm. The more and more I thought about it, the more and more I could see it. I could feel it. The exhilaration, the feelings of freedom. I had no responsibilities. No engagements, no one to answer to. I first thought about who I could ask to go with me, but honestly, I knew I was meant to do this alone.

I went on a walk up my street, trying to clear my mind. Was I really going to do this? Upon returning home, after looking at the hotel listings and the area surrounding it, I’d say probably close to 100 times, I booked it. Sure did. Pulled out my sad little credit card and booked it. I. Booked. It. This is a huge deal for me. I’m making the moves, I’m calling the shots. I’m doing what I want to do. No one else’s trip. No one I have to answer to. Just me. For so long I’ve heard people say “oh, you don’t need all that, it’s just you,” or “girl, what you complaining for, it’s just you” so damn it, that’s right: It’s just Me.

I’ve never unpacked and packed so fast in my life. I sent out a quick text to a couple family members on how long I’d be gone and the address of the hotel. I was on the road and down 90 east highway within 2 hours. The sun on my back as I rode and jammed out to some of the most inspirational tunes. Lizzo, Eve, Jessie J, just to name a few.

And I did it! Passed through the border, and hit Toronto running. I checked out the art museum of Ontario, Queen’s Quay, an amazing vegan spot Planta, and a chill-ass jazz club, The Reservoir Lounge. I did what I wanted, didn’t have to ask anyone if they wanted to do something or how long they wanted to stay, and I even talked to some local people who gave me ideas of where to go. I was in control. Those two nights in Toronto were the most time I’d spent alone in a long time. I actually asked myself what I wanted, and I did it without regret.

So I encourage you, whatever it is that you’ve been wanting to do for yourself, do it. Be it a trip, a spa day, or even reading a book that’s been on your list for a while; do it. You deserve to do something you want to do and not feel guilty for it. Other people do what they want to make them feel better. And you, like me, may be one of those people that are always doing for said people. I’m not saying you should never do for others, but sometimes, and a lot more than that, you have to do for yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Fill yours to the brim, and let it overflow. That way, you’ll have more than enough for yourself and for others.

Peace,

Ari

Positivity Vlog!

Attempted doing a little positivity vlog for my twitch! Please let me know your feedback! I’ve been trying to find software that lets me do everything I need to but having to switch between a few for different things!

I love my cat!

I absolutely love my cat! My husband got her as a surprise for me. Something I never expected from him as he never had a pet growing up. But I have fallen in love with the way he has fallen in love with her!So 6 years ago I moved to London from Cleveland, Ohio. For my husband ofcourse! And it is very expensive to live for the very little space you get. But we have enough space for a kitty!Her name is Harley as we were told her breed can have some attitude. She is a Tortoiseshell! Her coat is extremely pretty but I find it hard to photograph.Like most cats she likes sleeping, eating and playing! She likes to sleep on her own and she likes to cuddle. So she does have a lot of independence which I love about cats in general! We have to have her on a diet because she is petite! The vet doesn’t want her getting too fat because of complications. And she lives to play which is where her personality really shines through!So my cat is a playing machine. She can play fetch! How cool is that!? And she will even initiate it when she wants to play by bringing her mouse to me.She also loves to play tag. I know that chasing your cat in most cases isn’t ideal. But she has an understanding of it. Our tag usually turns into a very fun hide and seek game! I will run to the bedroom or bathroom and hide around the corner and she will try to find me. She doesn’t run away to hide unless I actually acknowledge her. This is really funny. So if I don’t let on that she has found me she tries to get my attention so I know. Then she will run and hide in the living room and I will pretend to look in places she is not. Then by the time I go to the spot she was in originally she will move. So cute. Then we make eye contact and I run away and hide again.I love playing games with her. I like to keep her fit as she is an indoor cat. We live by a busy road that cars don’t stop at the zebra crossings when people are on them. So they definitely wouldn’t stop for her.Also, this will freak you out. But because I have inflammatory bowel disease I can spend a lot of time in the toilet. But she likes to be around and keep me company. If I start walking to the toilet she sprints to beat me there. Some people would find this relationship weird but it works for us!She also likes to be in the bathroom when I have a bath. She likes to come in and have a nap and regularly check one to make sure I am okay and not drowning. She probably wonders how I can be in the water for that long. But it is cute that she checks on me if I don’t move for a while when I am relaxing.My husband absolutely loves when Harley is cleaning herself. He thinks it is absolutely adorable that she takes care of herself.I know most cats love boxes! A lot would prefer the box to whatever you bought them. But we can’t give her boxes as she strips it into pieces and eats it. She can’t digest all that fiber well. Plus we looked up and it is not safe as how the boxes are made.But we did invest in a cat tree! She loves sleeping on her tree and watching everything out in our yard! Also loves the scratch posts on it!The most recent toy we got was a tunnel. She loves to run through it! Occasionally she likes to pop her head out of the holes in it. She likes when you throw her mouse in there!Harley has made me feel a lot less lonely here. A lot of people would tell you that Londoners or English people are very fake. I find this to be true after 6 years. I miss all of my family and friends back home! I’m so glad I have Harley! I’d rather spend a day with her than someone who seems to always cancel plansAnyone else in love with their cat? Pets over other humans right? Lol

I’ve for better videos but they are lost in my phone. Sorry!

Do something small today!

Okay! So I have been being a homebody for a while now. I was trying to improve my skills on fortnite that I didn’t have time for anything else.

Today I decided I would do something small that would make me feel better about myself. I thought about something I haven’t done for a while that I used to enjoy. So I decided to write a letter to my best friend.We have been writing each other since we were 12 and 13! I am now 32! That is 20 years of writing to each other!!! At my age that is hard to believe I’ve done something for that long!

When I was in Hong Kong earlier this year I got myself a bunch of Gudetama stamps! And they have just been sitting in a bag until today. So I got them out and stamped like crazy!!! I stamped the inside of the card and the envelope! This brought me a lot of joy as my bestie knows how much I love Gudetama!The next bit was writing to her.

She came to visit me this year! I’ve been living in London for 6 years and find it the most depressing city on Earth! People are fake here! They throw everyone under a bus to get ahead! Nobody has any real friends here it is all just to keep appearance. The ones that do have friends well they all do drugs together. The only time they can be themselves around others is when drugged. So for her to come here and for me to have a real friend on London only for a short time meant everything to me!

So I took the time to thank her for coming all this way. And I congratulated her on graduating as she went back to school! And it felt really nice to writing this letter/card to her! I got all excited! And the best bit is she is going to be so happy when it arrives!

We love getting snail mail! Most people just get junk mail and bills. But we write each other and send care packages! It might cost more than an email but the rush of excitement I get when I receive anything from her makes me all happy! And the same for her when I send to her.

So I did something small today. I wrote a letter to my best friend it ended up being 11 pages long!. It makes me happy that I continue our tradition of writing. And it makes me happy as I know it will bring her happiness too!

Have you done something small today for yourself or someone else? Please share it in the comments!

You Matter Too

I have a friend who loves to write but doesn’t blog. She has had written plays that have been performed. But when I asked her why she doesn’t blog she said because nobody would care what she has to say. She said my blog matters because I help people with mine.

And I thought.. hold up!! You have been through so much in your life! You have experiences you can help people with. And she can be an inspiration to the younger generation in her community as well.

She has grown up in one of the most segregated cities in America! I am sure she can write a lot to inspire all of the young girls coming up the same way.

She could teach them so much! She can teach them to be brave. To be happy in your own skin. To not let anyone put a label on them. How to accept themselves. Inspire them to know there is more in life for them to go after.

I wish she would see she mattered too! She has so many things she can help people with! And she can open up about her depression and what she does to help her cope.

I’m going to challenge her to pick a few good qualities about herself and to write about them! And how did she get those good qualities and how they have helped made her life better!

Girl, everyone matters! You matter! Start changing the world by sharing your experiences to help other people going through them. Be that mentor they can look to for guidance.

Build yourself up and share yourself with the world! Kindness goes far my friend! Can’t wait to read what you write!

My Wallflowers

To all of you wallflowers reading my blog.. I just wanted to say a huge thank you for being there!! I know some of you don’t write comments on here but will inform me as soon as they love something I have written.

So I wanted to say thank you. Thanks for letting me know my writing helps you. Thanks for letting me know you feel inspired by me. Thanks for being patient while I am vulnerable and thanks for being empathetic and understanding when I voice myself about a difficult situation.

I really appreciated all of you that stop by. It is really sweet of you. I try to write the emotions I feel. I can only hope I can express well what I am feeling for you to have the best picture of what I am trying to explain and going through.

It’s always nice to know I’ve done something to make someone else’s day better. Whether it is sharing an experience with them or giving advice.

But I would be interested in knowing any topics you would like me to write about. It could be anything and I would be happy to share my opinion with you!!!

Thanks everyone!! Lots of love to you!!!