Twitch – Update

Just an update with my twitch. I still get new people to come to my stream but I get a lot less followers now than in the beginning. But that’s okay. I’ve got most things for my profile. I have all of my banners and I have subscriber badges and emojis for the subscribers. The bit that seems to be coming together is the gifs. My designer is really creative when we speak about them. He really understands what I am trying to get across for each one.

I want my twitch page to be fun. I want people to feel like they belong. And I want them to feel safe.

I guess for small streamer they like to see that I am so dedicated to my page to make it look nice and for there to be so much information for everyone.

The only thing that people complain about is that if I play a game with more than one person they can’t hear the other people speaking. I think it has to be some kind of xbox issue. I tried looking into this issue a lot but it seems everyone has the same problem. They don’t like that they only hear 1 out of 4 in the conversation. So it can be frustrating and there is no way to really fix it with the xbox or the capture card.

I still really like streaming. I like connecting with my viewers. I like to learn more about them and what they are going through. Sometimes I get asked for advice. I really like the interaction I have with them.

My viewers always say I am really nice. I’m not too sure what other streamers do for them to tell me that I am nicer than other streamers. Isn’t that the whole point to be nice to each other as everyone is going through something. Which is why we have gaming and it is our community.

I’m trying to be patient with streaming. I did put a lot of work into my stream so I was hoping it would benefit me. I’ve met other streamers who have only streamed for about a year now but they have put a lot less work into their page.

It seems a bit tricky at this point to see what actually works. Some of the good streamers are only really good at the game but not so much involved with their viewers. But then I don’t really see the point of streaming if you aren’t going to be interactive. Like just record it and upload to YouTube then?

I really enjoyed when I did collaborations with other streamers. It was always a lot of fun to do that. So I think this is something I need to look back into.

I also love to play the games with my viewers. I absolutely have a blast no matter what game it is. I think it is so wonderful how supportive they are of my skills. As I only started fortnite end of season 8. And they have seen my improvement! It is fun to work as a team and strategise. It is also nice when my viewers become friends with each other.

Do any of you stream? How do you find it?

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I’m going to be real with you… Asking for help is brave!

I am going to be real with you. My life has never been easy! I was sexually assaulted as a kid by the boys in the neighborhood. I kept it in and didn’t speak about it because I was afraid they would kill me if I even spoke up about it. So I always tried to hold everything in and then people would wonder why I would just burst.

I mean the signs were there. I was questioned at times about what was happening. But I lied because as a kid I feared for my life to come forward. All of the other boys were bigger than me. When I was older I only went to the police about one of them. I never came forward about all of the other boys. But I decided not to press charges as I didn’t want to ruin this persons life like they all did to me. Maybe I should have come forward with all of the names but I didn’t.

And because I came forward about the one person I feel this person has done everything under the sun to make me feel like I am the crazy one. Never accepting what he did was wrong and never apologizing to me and everyone involved. He is just delusional and lies about it saying I made it up for attention and that I am crazy.

Well maybe I am crazy because of what was done to me. And being female I obviously don’t have a voice. I don’t matter in this world. I will never be anything or do anything with my life. I had so much as a spunk as a kid in so many situations. But this situation has always scared the shit out of me and it still does.

I have now been married for 6 years and I am terrified to even be romantic with my partner. I still get flashbacks from my childhood of everything that happens. When people ask me why I don’t have kids yet.. I can’t even explain to them everything I have been through. I just have to try to shrug off the question as I don’t want to have to drag them into my drama about my past.

Most of these people that hurt me have kids themselves. And it kills me to think how they are raising their kids with what they did as kids themselves. Like where did they learn this stuff from. Did something happen to them as well so then they did it to me? I just don’t understand where other kids learned sexual things from to try it out and force it on me. It is disgusting. And I thought I could brush it off for so long.

But then when I finally came out about it I did feel supported about it. Other women told me it happened to them too. But as I look back there were times I spoke up about it. But the thing is when I did it continued to happen and I think that is why I stopped talking about it. As I spoke up, it still happened so I felt like there was nothing I could do to make it stop. So much pain it caused me.

If I wasn’t sexually assaulted as a small kid I am sure I would have done better in school. I would have so many flashbacks in school and I couldn’t concentrate to learn. There were police officers that would come to our school and talk to the class but I never had the guts to speak to them. I had a friend come forward when I was in 6th grade about something that happened to her. But after seeing how it was dealt with I felt like I could never come forward as it felt like she was the one that was punished and not the person that hurt her.

I was proud of her for coming forward and getting help. But I realized it happened to a lot of girls in our school district. And everyone that came forward it was always her that everyone talked about. Made to feel like such an outsider nobody ever mentioned the guys.

Sometimes I wish I could go back and live my life over. But, this is something we can’t do. We can only continue on with our lives. So if someone wants to tell me that I am crazy than go for it. But please understand why people are trying to put these labels on me. Why are they doing everything in their power to make me seem like I am the bad one when I was the one that was the victim. Because speaking up means you have power and you have a voice. And they are scared for their own reputation.

There was one time my neighbors pulled my pants down in the woods. I ran back to my house screaming and crying. And that time my dad took me to the neighbors to explain what happened. The parents made their kid apologize but they beat that kid so hard. I could hear him cry and being hit from my house. I felt glad he got punished but I felt bad that me speaking up caused him pain.

But the one that seems to get away with calling me names is the one that was never properly punished. He’s been able to get away with accepting what he did. He was never punished by his parents.

Since leaving America I can say I haven’t been sexually assaulted. I feel more empowered being away from an environment where that was happening to so many young girls. Those kids from my childhood weren’t the only ones that sexually assaulted me. I was also assaulted in university. But this was because after my mom died I started drinking to cope with all of the pain. I would drink my life away because I was sexually assaulted as a kid, bullied a lot and went through losing a parent at a young age.

To the young girls and women out there. Please stand up for yourselves. If it gets ignored keep fighting for yourself and don’t give up. You are important and you are valued. You can change it. You can try to go on like it didn’t happen but eventually it will catch up with you and it will break you. Stand up for yourself and speak up. Get out of the situation. You deserve a safe upbringing where you aren’t harmed and you are loved and valued. Don’t ever think you don’t matter because you do. You are everything.

You need to empower yourself so you can inspire others around you. You never know who is going through sexual assault or went through it. Speak up and stand together. Be there for each-other and help each-other through it. Life can get better and you can change the situation around. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, if they don’t listen ask again. And don’t just ask one person. If your parents don’t listen ask a teacher or a doctor. Just keep asking for help. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Asking for help during these situations is not cowardly it is bravery! Never be afraid to be brave.

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My freshman year of high school my English teacher had us read the book Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson. I really connected with this book and this teacher became my hero just having us read it. I was glad she wasn’t afraid to overlook what we could be going through and had us read it. I will never forget reading this book and watching the movie in her class. It was nice to feel like I wasn’t alone and that I could get help if I would only just to Speak up.
Click to buy. ~~> Speak

 

Playing One Jump Man by PIXELTERI | Switch | Super Mario Maker 2 | Level CODE: QB2-L1F-3RF

I’ve never done a no jump level before. I had to try this more than a few times to get the hang of it. But this is the end result! Also, the video speed is 2x!(So it would fit in an IG post!)

Hope you have as much fun playing it as I have!!! Let me know how many times it takes you to complete!

If you would like to buy a switch click below!

Nintendo Switch – Neon Red and Neon Blue Joy-Con

If you would like to buy Super Mario Maker 2 click below!

Super Mario Maker 2 – Nintendo Switch

Super Mario Maker 2 – Speed Jump: Code: 0WR-3JN-DYG

So I have finally created my very first level on Super Mario Maker 2! I would like if you would all try it out! It is a bit tricky! You need to collect all of the coins. And it is a speed run level. But you also need to figure out where to slow down so you don’t jump to your….! Hahaha! I think after a few attempts you should be able to get the hang of it! So proud of making this level. Also, glad a friend and a viewer have tried it!

If you would like to buy a switch click below!

Nintendo Switch – Neon Red and Neon Blue Joy-Con

If you would like to buy Super Mario Maker 2 click below!

Super Mario Maker 2 – Nintendo Switch

 

Planning Your Morning Routine!

Podcast Link – Planning your morning routine!

Planning your morning routine can be one of the best things that you do for yourself!

You want to first get a really nice night of sleep if you are able to.

When you wake up you are going to want to have a breakfast before you get going. I usually read news articles while I eat to keep me up to date on what is happening around the world!

A quick tip I have is I try to get as much as I can ready before I even go to bed. This means I pick out my clothes for the day and have my gym bag ready.

So after I eat I will finish getting ready as in hair and make up and changing. And the next thing I do is go to the gym.

I will listen to music or podcasts on my way to the gym.

I love to have my workout done early in the morning as it provides we with a boost of energy for the first half of my day. Most people will still be waking up and be groggy when they get to the office because of poor time management. But I like to be early at work and hit the floor running.

So if you are someone who doesn’t do this already I challenge you to wake up earlier to try this out for at least a week!

Achieving your goal vs what you become from achieving your goals!

Zig Ziglar -What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.

I really like this quote!

Say your goal is to plan a trip to London and you have never left American before. Never even left your own state. I am personally from Ohio and a lot of people from Cleveland have never left the state!

So what you would have to do is get your passport.
Then you would have to buy a flight and accommodation.
And you would have to pick what you would want to do while you are there.
Plus you need to plan to budget the money. Food and train tickets.

If you didn’t ever make the trip to London you wouldn’t have learned all of these skills. And by doing this you will be more likely to plan trips to other destinations. You will become more inspired and self confident in yourself!

So it i will be great that you went to London which was your goal but it is even better that you have experienced the entire process as that has now become a huge part of you!

So by traveling to London you are labeled and international traveler. Sure that sounds cool and everything. But look at the bigger picture. You have learned financial planning skills. You have done research on traveling and about the Country and culture itself. It is about everything that goes into creating this experience because it is building who you are as a person. Your friends and family will be amazed by this and ask you a lot of questions based on your experience too. You will be adding value to your life and to the people around you as well.

So I hope you can see the difference!

Click below to listen to the podcast!

Podcast!

Geek Store – Hull, UK

I had an absolute blast today. I went to Geek Store which opened just 3 weeks ago. What is so cool about it is that it is owned by the creator of numskull! I’ve always seen the cool products in stores such as Game but now I can go directly to the source!

The store is organized very well. The staff are extremely nice. They didn’t rush me and took the time to answer all of my questions! It is awesome to go to a store and meet people with the same passions as yourself! There are loads of items on the website and more are always being created / developed! Definitely worth a visit if you are in the area!

I decided to go home with a new Crash Bandicoot keychain!

Click below for a link to buy one yourself!
Crash Bandicoot Crash Team Racing, Official Merchandise – CTR Nitro-Fueled Crate Keychain Collectible

@geekstoredotcom @numskulldesigns

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