Annoyed with my London life.

First of all when I moved to London it was for love. I had no interest in coming here for whatever any other person comes here for you know like uni or it might be cool to move here. I came for love not because I actually liked British culture and shit like that. I really don’t know why Europeans come here and put up with the shit here. Well yeah they come for work but there is absolutely no other reason for anyone to actually want to move to this place I truely believe London is a shit hole.You can’t even walk down a street in London without man slamming happening. At least in Asia people respect others enough to not walk into them. They are aware of their space and other peoples space. But in England this is not true everyone thinks that he or she is the most important person on the sidewalk. They don’t move over they just walk into you. This even happens in the grocery store. And I am not even speaking about a busy grocery store. There could be one other person in the aisle with you and they walk into you and don’t walk around you. They obviously don’t speak to say excuse me they usually bump into you until you almost fall over and after they might say they are sorry. No they are not fucking sorry! The person saw that you were there and could have easily gone around but chose not too! They wanted to be an asshole as they have nothing better going on in their lives!I was extremely intimidated when I moved to London to look for work. London is such a world class city as I was coming from the middle of nowhere. But what I learned is it is impossible to find people who are truthful, empathetic and good people. Everyone seems to have their own agenda of how to throw someone under the bus to fuck them over so they can get ahead. Nobody wants to work together to get ahead unless it means they are trying to fuck over someone else. I have definitely seen this happen in offices. Groups of people will even pick someone they want to get fired and gang up on them. Then once that person is gone the group will move on to their next victim.Every office I have ever worked in the English people have been racist I mean xenophobic towards me for being American. And they easily get away with it. But it has extended to even the Europeans being racist towards me at later jobs.I really hope that London reached its peak and is on a decline for a long time. If Brexit were to ruin the city I would actually be happy for that to happen. So many English people complain that foreigners are taking their jobs when they themselves don’t want to work. They like to get a job and go on sick leave for 6 months instead of just quitting the job. They love taking advantage of this and I have seen it at every company I have worked at. But they never complain about themselves, they never see they are the problem.I hope a lot of people leave the city and I hope a lot of businesses go out of business! I hope they go through something big and bad enough that they will learn to regret everything that they have done. I really want to see their economy take a hit and the people to lose their self confidence and pride of where they are from. I hope the English will feel embarrassed for how they treat people who move here.If I could take all of the tourists from London and divert them to my city I would. I would love that money to come into my city. My city has plenty of immigrants that work there as well and I am so appreciative of them. Londoners travel the world and shit on every place they go, because it isn’t London. They think they live in the best place in the world and are incapable of appreciating the lives of people from other countries. Hey England just so you know Denmark is doing it all better than you!I am proud of where I come from. People in my city have to work their ass off to get what they want they don’t get handed everything on a silver plate like Londoners.The NHS is another thing that English people do not appreciate! They abuse the system so much! And I am not talking about the average Joe here. I am talking about the rich people of London. They are basically raping the NHS and than the average Joe is getting fucked over by it.So the rich people will scream and complain and cry and throw every single temper tantrum to get what they want. They will do this at all levels to the reception, to nurses, to doctors, to practice managers, etc,… So they complain to get a private referral so they can get seen faster. But when they see that doctor they don’t want to pay the private prices for their medication. Why should they be punished for being rich anyways. So instead of paying the private prices for their medication that they wanted for being special to have a faster time with a private doctor they go back to the NHS. They cause all kinds of hell at the NHS to get their private prescription put on the NHS. They are all of a sudden not rich enough to pay for their medicine. So the NHS GP’s don’t want any complaints on their websites and Google Maps. So they will prescribe the medicine on the NHS which comes out of each NHS Surgeries budget. So this means there is less money in the pool at that specific surgery to fund other patients. So average Joe will come in there needing an expensive medication for their disease but the NHS GP will have to prescribe a cheaper and less effective medicine for that person knowing that they need a better medicine. But they have to prescribe this medicine as the money they could have went to a more expensive drug for this person is being used by the rich person who cries that they don’t want to accept responsibility to pay for their private prescription and be an adult. But to the average Joe they would not know this as they have not worked in the NHS.The people in this country do not respect the staff of the NHS. They talk to them like they are basically 3. I feel bad for these doctors who have given up so much time of their life to study and prepare themselves to treat people to make them better that are treated like this. I feel bad for all NHS staff dealing with these filthy people who have no respect. There is a fine line between understanding someone is suffering and being empathetic to them and knowing someone is just being a jackass to get what they want.I think that if the NHS is going to keep on that everyone needs to put at least 2 years of work there. I think the younger generation needs to work there to be more understanding of the whole system. They need to be on the front lines so they don’t turn into an asshole treating the staff like shit. And they need to work their so they understand how the system really does work so they can be the ones to improve it.Seriously the people working for the CCG are fucking assholes! They are making so many rules and hoops for doctors to jump through that it is starting to ruin shit. And these people in the CCG are getting paid the big bucks! Maybe the CCG should take a pay cut so more money can actually go into the NHS to fund these patients who are sick!With everything going on in Hong Kong I really hope the people there start to turn on the English people. No not make them horny but to hold them accountable and to start being more of an ass to them! After all England was like yo China here is Hong Kong! They should have let the people of Hong Kong decide what to do with their own country. So I really hope that England becomes a very dramatic part of the situation as they need to accept some responsibility and should be helping to make things right faster than they are currently doing so.A lot of people joke about Brexit and how it keeps getting postponed. And the running joke is that it is English people working on the situation. Because they are extremely lazy people and never actually get anything done. All the hard work is done by the foreigners and since the foreigners can’t have those positions nothing is getting done. England is currently the joke of the world with the Brexit situation!——————————————————————————–
Because I am an American people from England automatically look at me and think of me as a piece of shit.I really hope America outworks England in so many ways. To prove that they are a bigger badder country. Not by causing wars but by being a badass motherfucker setting great examples. It sucks that we have Trump as our leader and he is putting kids in cages! How messed up is that. Making his friends rich in pprivate prisons and detention centers. But I hope whoever comes next can start getting this country on track. I understand it isn’t that America hates immigrants they just hate when they come over illegally. There is always a right way and a wrong way to do something. But our country wants to do the same as the British people with their little European pets. They want them to come over and pay their taxes.As an American I can say America is not the best country in the world. I fully accept that it is not. And I believe that greed is contributing to this problem. The people don’t have a strong enough voice against the elite, at least they haven’t figured the correct way to use their voice to get their government to do what is needed for the country. You don’t see people protesting in as high numbers as England.I fully agree school teachers should be paid more if they are going to provide a good education for kids. They aren’t babysitters they are teaching the future generations.I think America should have a type of NHS but needs to learn from the mistakes of the ones that currently exist and improve on them. They can keep their private healthcare for the rich people who want it but need a NHS for the people that can’t afford it.America also needs to improve transportation between major cities. I always get asked why Americans don’t travel much. But let me tell you I am once again going on another European holiday that will cost cheaper than traveling to other larger cities in Britain. And the cost of the entire trip for 2 people will be cheaper than someone trying to fly to the next state in America. I wonder how much the European travel industry will change for England with Brexit happening.I feel more than enough that the citizens were not educated enough about Brexit before voting. I still feel like nobody even knows what the fuck is going to happen still.I also find it Hilarious that Boris Johnson is the man running the show now. Your Trump equivalent is here bitches! I know.. nobody can be as bad as Trump but hey the lady I mean Theresa May that wanted the role quit because she couldn’t do it! (Bless her sweet little soul for quitting a toxic job and getting some much needed self-care!)Also I feel bad for Sadiq Khan as I believe Londoners think he has more power than he actually does. Instead of making the big decisions he is making a lot of little decisions. It will be interesting to see the ripple effect from all of the tiny decisions. Sometimes I think he is too good for the city and people don’t like him as he is an easy target because he appears to be genuine. Just remember that Sadiq grew up in a poor family and look at how far he has come. If he has gotten this far in life then there isn’t an excuse for the rest of us. Boris Johnson was born in America which makes me laugh really hard at the situation.——————————————————————————–
I put this on a scheduled post but right now I am not even going to give it anymore time. I just wanted to feel English by going on a rant and not actually doing anything about it! I am a nobody after-all!‐——————————————————————I’ve been in Copenhagen, Denmark for the last few days. The people are so polite here it reminds me of being back in America. Everyone here smiles which is so refreshing. And they know how to go out and relax. I think they pay 50% to taxes and they have free healthcare as well as that is where a chunk of their tax money goes. Their public transport has been really nice as well. Not looking forward to go back to London. London as it is overcrowded and people are external rude and extremely mentally ill. London is even making me crazy dealing with all of its bullshit and double standards.

Facing Fear – Revisiting the airport where I was sexually assaulted by security. (Stansted Airport)

So I am going to be going back to Stansted Airport where I was sexually assaulted by the security/TSA during a pat down. I’ve had so many times where I have bursted into tears since this has happened because of what I experienced. When I reported to the airport they didn’t really care. And when I lost my very sentimental hat because I was going through shock they didn’t even offer to replace it.

But I am facing my fear of going back there as I can’t let one bad person ruin my life. Since speaking up there have been a good amount of people that have said similar has happened to them. And not just at airports but by security at concerts as well.

I have been sexually assaulted as a kid and even raped. The amount of trauma this airport visit has caused me has been extremely intense. Not only did I cry after security throughout the airport and the entire flight. It ruined my vacation wwhich was meant to be a happy time. It caused me problems at my job. It caused me problems in my marriage. And it still causes me a great amount of PTSD!

I truly believe the airport security needs to find better ways to handle these situations. I find it unacceptable for staff to be unprofessional during these searches and abuse their power. The problem is the airport will always deny that their employees have done anything wrong to keep them from getting sued.

Less than 24 hours until I have to face my fear. I will update when I feel safe enough to do so.

Okay so we missed our alarm clock this morning

The race to the airport was on and trying to escape Notting Hill Carnival!

We arrived at the airport and luckily enough a nice man signed off on my boarding pass as I am not EU and need a stupid check.

Our fast pass wait time was less than 5 minutes. Then the scary moment happened the beeper went off. I didn’t even wear a belt! I question the lady and she said it beeps to do a random checks not because of metal or anything that set it off.

I got scared as I went to the other line as last time I was sexually assaulted. But they did a scan and didn’t touch me. Because what I learned from last time is when I was quiet they didn’t care. So you better believe this time I would be screaming if it happened again.

But apparently my mini bottle of body spray needed to be scanned. There was more staff at the airport and they seemed friendlier.

This experience was a lot better than last year. I am so glad I was not assaulted this time.

……

Upon my return to UK my entry was fast. American electronic passports can now be scanned at the gate. It felt nice not having to show my Visa and get my fingerprints done. Maybe we can think Sparkle Markle for this for hor marriage to royalty! Just kidding!

We must go on, despite all of our setbacks!

Everything might not be going according to plan but I am not going to let it eat me from the inside and turn me into a monster. 6 months ago I left a toxic job where I would sit at my desk wanting to kill myself as I did not feel important or valued there because I was promised much more than they ever delivered. And when my uncle passed away it made perfect sense to be with my family in a time of need than to be around people that never really supported me.

Sometimes I feel like I was that bad person for leaving but in the role I was in you can hire someone instantly for that role. Sometimes I hope that person doesn’t give a shit about the role so they can see how they were missing someone that was hard working and wanted to contribute in so many ways. But after all they sold me a lie and only wanted to fill a role.

I honestly haven’t been looking for a new role. I decided I would give myself a break from strangers putting the pressure on me. Before that I forced myself to work 1 month after starting chemotherapy. My doctors told me I couldn’t work but I forced myself to work because I thought not working and not contributing to my family was looked down upon. So when I was going through hell I made myself work 10-12 hour shifts in a hell hole. Again it was an extremely toxic environment and my boss joked that she thought I did heroin because of my arm being bruised from needles and not understanding the needles were for all my blood tests to monitor my chemotherapy. But some people must be so proud of their kids who bully people right?

I’ve had this break to be able to get myself right. I don’t think I have actually worked in a safe environment. Everywhere I have worked has been extremely toxic. I always wondered if it was just me that felt this or if other people felt like it too. It is nice I didn’t throw myself into another toxic environment right away.

I need to remember what I know about myself. I am usually one of the first people to arrive at a company. There are people who run 20 minutes late everyday and they get away with it. I always wondered why they don’t just wake up a little bit earlier and get a train before. But that is not my problem that is there problem. I usually like to arrive early because I like to get a jump start on my day. I like to get caught up on things before everyone else is there and try to read as many emails as I can before my official start time. Maybe I should ignore this paragraph for now.. lol

Let me try again. So I know that I am punctual. I know I research my tasks and see it through to the end. But I also like to get people’s opinions on it in-case they look at it from a different view from myself so I can clearly explain myself even better. I try my best to be positive because I know any given number of people can be going through hell but we might not know it. After my mom died I went through so much hell. I didn’t talk to many people that entire year. The following year I was as nice as I could be to everyone and greeted everyone with a smile. The reason being was because the year I suffered some people gave up after a few days, some a few months and some actually made it through to me a lot longer after. The people that didn’t give up so easily and tried longer to get through to me and be there for me are the ones that really helped to change me. I am thankful for their kindness during the most difficult time of my life. And something so little as them acknowledging my existence during that time really spoke to me later in life. So be that bright spark for other people but my problem with this is I would always go way out of my way and beyond to help people that they felt smothered. So I’ve learned to not smother people with care anymore. Maybe this paragraph doesn’t work either. O well.

Anyways, moving on from that. I don’t need to prove myself to strangers. I only need to prove myself to my very own self. Nobody has lived my exact life so nobody knows exactly what I have been through. They have only the understanding of what they went through and how they felt in similar situations that have happened to them. For the first 31 and a half years of my life I was focused on other people. Now that I am 32 I am going to stop focusing on other people so much as they have never been able to do for me as what I have done for them. So I need to take all that love I was giving away freely to people who didn’t appreciate it and start giving myself that love and praise.

There are people on both ends of the spectrum and all up through it. There are people that are kind and would do anything for others and then there are people who take advantage of others and will do anything to get ahead. It is sad when people on the two opposite ends get together. I used to think it was so the good one could help the bad one change. I need to spend less time thinking about these things and start shifting towards what is best for myself within reason.

My dream job in college was to be a CEO of a company. I realized people were really bad at making decisions. Especially highly calculative ones. A lot of people don’t want to upset people so they will just do what everyone else is doing and let someone else decide and tell them. It was never anything I would have thought was unreachable. I work hard, I take in a lot of information, I listen to people and I try to make solutions based on the evidence presented.

But for now I am going to focus on myself. I am going to concentrate on what bring me joy to my life. Blogging is something I love to do but I never expected to make money from it. I just wanted to share my thoughts with the world. I wanted people to know that they are not alone with whatever they are going through. I wanted people to know that yes I suffer from a lot of things but I keep going on and trying to live my life. I want to be relatable to people because I don’t feel that people are being honest these days. People only want to post the positives on social media where I want to post the positive and the bad. Maybe if people know that I have been through hell it can help them understand my good days and lucky I am to have those good days and my experiences. Just because we suffer and go through hell doesn’t mean we deserve to have shit lives, we can go on and have fun and be happy too.

Here is something funny for you. In college I took a few religious classes. And in one we had to pick if Genesis 1 or Genesis 2 happened. I was the only person in the class that wrote that they both happened. This took my professor by surprise as everyone would automatically say they thought only Genesis 2 happened. A few years later I had a friend publish a book where he wrote that they had both happened to. I wish I knew his view when I wrote my paper as we had a debate about it in class and people thought I was crazy for my view. But I also tried to explain to the class about time. I tried to say what existed before the Big Bang and exists after. I tried to say what is the only thing we have to measure an experiment in every experiment. I tried to explain to them that this is time. But I think only my professor was the one to have a clue what I was on about. My ideas were often to big and too bold for the average person taking religious classes. So he really liked when I gave my opinions as maybe they were off of the normal track as most people but he saw a glimpse of where it was coming from. So the funny thing about this is I have been watching the German show Dark. And in this show they have the whole bit about time being God. So I just found it so interesting that how I was thought to be crazy with this idea in college yet it has ended up in a very popular TV show.

Alright I have been sidetracked for a bit on this. But sometimes I just want to open up for people to understand a piece of my mind. Or do I mean it is so I can understand myself better. Life can be however you decide to look at it. If you think negative and the world is bad then that will consume you, but if you think the world is positive and people are good than you will be like a positive little butterfly making some ripples! Your life is up to you to decide how you want to live it and the person you will become. People are going to tell you how you should live your life based on how they would live it. Most people live in fear of failure. But if you want something in this world you can have it. You just have to work hard enough. And that is what it comes down to is whether or not you are willing to put in the work. Don’t make excuses for something you want, those are your obstacles to overcome by actually grinding and putting in the work.

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At this point I am interested in who I will be in another 6 months. But also extremely interested in the person I currently am. How I have changed and how I will continue to change.

What sets my soul on fire to change the world and make it a better place is different than what I had thought 6 months ago.

The smallest things can change your life and make it better so just a reminder to myself to remember that. One person that I can say hi to everyday might just be the answer to a new opportunity for me or for you.

When I come back from my holiday I plan on networking more. Some people are left in our past only for us to move on with our future.

Sometimes we must make difficult decisions with what we can experience so we can evolve as people and break the cycles we get trapped in and consumed by. If I feel like I am living in the matrix by having a routine life than I change something about it. Some people can have the same routine for 10 years and not have a problem with it, but I am not one of those people, are you?

Life is short so do what makes you happy if it is done with good intention. Don’t worry about what other people think as that is going to hold you back in the end. Be your own best friend and your own biggest supported. It is more than okay to put yourself first and value yourself. You are worthy of that. I often feel like we try to get approval from everyone else when it is approval of yourself that matters the most.

I am just going to let this post float out there for now. I am unsure if this is more for me or more for you at this point. But maybe we are all one and the same.
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Here is the link for anyone that was interest in reading my friend’s book. You can buy it from the link below.

The World That Then Was: Understanding the Genesis creation account

Achieving your goal vs what you become from achieving your goals!

Zig Ziglar -What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.

I really like this quote!

Say your goal is to plan a trip to London and you have never left American before. Never even left your own state. I am personally from Ohio and a lot of people from Cleveland have never left the state!

So what you would have to do is get your passport.
Then you would have to buy a flight and accommodation.
And you would have to pick what you would want to do while you are there.
Plus you need to plan to budget the money. Food and train tickets.

If you didn’t ever make the trip to London you wouldn’t have learned all of these skills. And by doing this you will be more likely to plan trips to other destinations. You will become more inspired and self confident in yourself!

So it i will be great that you went to London which was your goal but it is even better that you have experienced the entire process as that has now become a huge part of you!

So by traveling to London you are labeled and international traveler. Sure that sounds cool and everything. But look at the bigger picture. You have learned financial planning skills. You have done research on traveling and about the Country and culture itself. It is about everything that goes into creating this experience because it is building who you are as a person. Your friends and family will be amazed by this and ask you a lot of questions based on your experience too. You will be adding value to your life and to the people around you as well.

So I hope you can see the difference!

Click below to listen to the podcast!

Podcast!

Geek Store – Hull, UK

I had an absolute blast today. I went to Geek Store which opened just 3 weeks ago. What is so cool about it is that it is owned by the creator of numskull! I’ve always seen the cool products in stores such as Game but now I can go directly to the source!

The store is organized very well. The staff are extremely nice. They didn’t rush me and took the time to answer all of my questions! It is awesome to go to a store and meet people with the same passions as yourself! There are loads of items on the website and more are always being created / developed! Definitely worth a visit if you are in the area!

I decided to go home with a new Crash Bandicoot keychain!

Click below for a link to buy one yourself!
Crash Bandicoot Crash Team Racing, Official Merchandise – CTR Nitro-Fueled Crate Keychain Collectible

@geekstoredotcom @numskulldesigns

#gaming #gamer #ps #xbox #videogames #playstation #game #games #fortnite #twitch #pc #xboxone #gamers #youtube #pcgaming #memes #nintendo #gamergirl #follow #mario #videogame #streamer #instagaming #like #meme #starwars #art #crashbandicoot

2 Nights in Toronto

Hey Good People,

I do apologize. It’s been a while since my last post. Sarah had to get on my tail. And hey, to be honest, sometimes we need a little push from our friends. Sometimes we need to hear from our closest friends “you should do that” or “you deserve this” because let’s face it, sometimes we don’t know what we need.

This past July 4th holiday, I had another friend of mines encourage me do something for myself.  I had just gotten back literally the day before in the wee hours of the morning (I think around 1 AM).  I traveled with my dad and his wife to my cousin’s wedding in the Dominican Republic. I’d had no cell service (only wifi) but I wasn’t complaining. The wedding was beautiful. The weather was amazing, and after getting over my initial jitters, everything turned out excellent.

Well, the day before we were to return home, I get a wifi call from a relative crying that she’d gotten my car towed. Not only that,  she was afraid that I wouldn’t trust her again because of it. Of course I was upset but, me being me, I didn’t get too upset because I let her use it and well, what kind of person would I be to just blow up on someone who’s crying? I’ve been manipulated for so long I automatically take fault and feel guilty for something I didn’t even do. But I digress.

Upon returning home, I stayed over my dad’s house for the night, my house keys being with my car keys with the relative who has fallen asleep by the time we land. Rightfully so, it is 1 AM. So, come the next morning, my dad and I, take this family member to work and also have to babysit because they waited to late to get their child to day care. I get a ride to the impound and not only do I have to pay for the tow, I have to also pay for the other tickets that this same family member got on another car that they never paid for. Over $400 dollars later, I ride off the lot and thank God, my dad treats me and the little one to breakfast, because who knows when I last ate.

Later that day I pick up the relative from work, she pays me half for the tow, and drop her and the little one off. (He’s really no trouble. He’s amazing might I add). I go straight home and pass out. The next morning I sit in bed, exhausted, depleted and feeling not like myself. I won’t say depression exactly, because I do deal with that a lot, but it was something else. I felt like I didn’t have control over my life anymore. With a birthday right around the corner, it seemed as though I hadn’t done anything to celebrate how far I’d come since a year ago.

Talking to a friend of my on the phone explaining these feelings, he finally asked me: “Where do you want to go?” “Canada, Toronto” I say. “Well, go to Canada!” He says, all matter of fact-like. “Yeah, OK.” I’m thinking. I’d just came from an out of country trip and I just came off $400, and here I am about to go on another trip?

He looked up some hotels and found one, right in the heart of Toronto. I checked it out. It looked nice, but really? Go to Canada? Solo? Hmmm. The more and more I thought about it, the more and more I could see it. I could feel it. The exhilaration, the feelings of freedom. I had no responsibilities. No engagements, no one to answer to. I first thought about who I could ask to go with me, but honestly, I knew I was meant to do this alone.

I went on a walk up my street, trying to clear my mind. Was I really going to do this? Upon returning home, after looking at the hotel listings and the area surrounding it, I’d say probably close to 100 times, I booked it. Sure did. Pulled out my sad little credit card and booked it. I. Booked. It. This is a huge deal for me. I’m making the moves, I’m calling the shots. I’m doing what I want to do. No one else’s trip. No one I have to answer to. Just me. For so long I’ve heard people say “oh, you don’t need all that, it’s just you,” or “girl, what you complaining for, it’s just you” so damn it, that’s right: It’s just Me.

I’ve never unpacked and packed so fast in my life. I sent out a quick text to a couple family members on how long I’d be gone and the address of the hotel. I was on the road and down 90 east highway within 2 hours. The sun on my back as I rode and jammed out to some of the most inspirational tunes. Lizzo, Eve, Jessie J, just to name a few.

And I did it! Passed through the border, and hit Toronto running. I checked out the art museum of Ontario, Queen’s Quay, an amazing vegan spot Planta, and a chill-ass jazz club, The Reservoir Lounge. I did what I wanted, didn’t have to ask anyone if they wanted to do something or how long they wanted to stay, and I even talked to some local people who gave me ideas of where to go. I was in control. Those two nights in Toronto were the most time I’d spent alone in a long time. I actually asked myself what I wanted, and I did it without regret.

So I encourage you, whatever it is that you’ve been wanting to do for yourself, do it. Be it a trip, a spa day, or even reading a book that’s been on your list for a while; do it. You deserve to do something you want to do and not feel guilty for it. Other people do what they want to make them feel better. And you, like me, may be one of those people that are always doing for said people. I’m not saying you should never do for others, but sometimes, and a lot more than that, you have to do for yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Fill yours to the brim, and let it overflow. That way, you’ll have more than enough for yourself and for others.

Peace,

Ari

Invited to blog.

Hey just Hannah here…

Inspiring mua and mue.

Sarah has invited me to write on her blog

Really honoured for the invite!

We met online 5 years ago and I wouldn’t be without her. She tells it to me straight and has been a great support to me. Encourages me to do shit I wouldn’t necessarily do. Love her to bits and proud of her for going after what makes her happy!

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So by inviting me to write blogs here I will hopefully find my motivation to get my own blog up and continue my self love.

Today’s makeup inspired by pride parade in London which I could attended as couldn’t afford it boo!

Recently got into rupauls drag race and fell in love with the artirsty of drag makeup.

So its helped me learn more about lgbtq community and even as a straight woman I can relate to the community.

Ive never really felt like I fit in…

Due to the fact am fat yes you will think no don’t be so mean to yourself but I dont let that adjective bother me.

I also wear silly colours and recently got teenagers at local cafe started shouting chicken at me and do a silly chicken dance. Just because I wore a fluffy yellow cardigan.

Honestly why cant you just be yourself and not give a fuck about peoples opinions. Why are we programmed to care!

I’ve even been told to tone down my makeup at work which has added to the low moods that seem to come in waves at the moment.

All the things I do and love help me with my mental health.

Am gonna be continuing with what I love and who I am and do the same and never give up!

Always believe in yourself and always always be you!

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