Twitch – Update

Just an update with my twitch. I still get new people to come to my stream but I get a lot less followers now than in the beginning. But that’s okay. I’ve got most things for my profile. I have all of my banners and I have subscriber badges and emojis for the subscribers. The bit that seems to be coming together is the gifs. My designer is really creative when we speak about them. He really understands what I am trying to get across for each one.

I want my twitch page to be fun. I want people to feel like they belong. And I want them to feel safe.

I guess for small streamer they like to see that I am so dedicated to my page to make it look nice and for there to be so much information for everyone.

The only thing that people complain about is that if I play a game with more than one person they can’t hear the other people speaking. I think it has to be some kind of xbox issue. I tried looking into this issue a lot but it seems everyone has the same problem. They don’t like that they only hear 1 out of 4 in the conversation. So it can be frustrating and there is no way to really fix it with the xbox or the capture card.

I still really like streaming. I like connecting with my viewers. I like to learn more about them and what they are going through. Sometimes I get asked for advice. I really like the interaction I have with them.

My viewers always say I am really nice. I’m not too sure what other streamers do for them to tell me that I am nicer than other streamers. Isn’t that the whole point to be nice to each other as everyone is going through something. Which is why we have gaming and it is our community.

I’m trying to be patient with streaming. I did put a lot of work into my stream so I was hoping it would benefit me. I’ve met other streamers who have only streamed for about a year now but they have put a lot less work into their page.

It seems a bit tricky at this point to see what actually works. Some of the good streamers are only really good at the game but not so much involved with their viewers. But then I don’t really see the point of streaming if you aren’t going to be interactive. Like just record it and upload to YouTube then?

I really enjoyed when I did collaborations with other streamers. It was always a lot of fun to do that. So I think this is something I need to look back into.

I also love to play the games with my viewers. I absolutely have a blast no matter what game it is. I think it is so wonderful how supportive they are of my skills. As I only started fortnite end of season 8. And they have seen my improvement! It is fun to work as a team and strategise. It is also nice when my viewers become friends with each other.

Do any of you stream? How do you find it?

Geek Store – Hull, UK

I had an absolute blast today. I went to Geek Store which opened just 3 weeks ago. What is so cool about it is that it is owned by the creator of numskull! I’ve always seen the cool products in stores such as Game but now I can go directly to the source!

The store is organized very well. The staff are extremely nice. They didn’t rush me and took the time to answer all of my questions! It is awesome to go to a store and meet people with the same passions as yourself! There are loads of items on the website and more are always being created / developed! Definitely worth a visit if you are in the area!

I decided to go home with a new Crash Bandicoot keychain!

Click below for a link to buy one yourself!
Crash Bandicoot Crash Team Racing, Official Merchandise – CTR Nitro-Fueled Crate Keychain Collectible

@geekstoredotcom @numskulldesigns

#gaming #gamer #ps #xbox #videogames #playstation #game #games #fortnite #twitch #pc #xboxone #gamers #youtube #pcgaming #memes #nintendo #gamergirl #follow #mario #videogame #streamer #instagaming #like #meme #starwars #art #crashbandicoot

CRUSHING IT by GARY VAYNERCHUK

So it’s 4:30am and I have just read the first 62 pages of his book. And I am loving it! I usually need a break from reading at 20 pages. But it has been really easy to read and interesting.

I have to say I always felt I lived my life differently than others. As I feel I voice my true opinion more. This book is just encouraging me to be even more of myself.

I have 1 complication in my life right now. But because of this book I am going to work around it. This book is telling me to be me so I’m not going to be held back anymore. Maybe this complication is someone else’s complication after all being projected onto me

So from here on out. I am going to give myself goals to take back my life and continue on my journey to follow my passions!

I know what needs to be done but I can’t let other people’s fears hold me back. That is their fear and their problem. Life is literally ticking away at this very moment. I don’t want the regrets of not going for it and not trying.

I know I am a hard worker. I’ve outlasted and outworked everyone I’ve ever worked with in the conditions we were put through. And I have been efficient with a great attitude! So if I can slave away for others then I need to slave away for myself!

I have so much I want to share with the world! I’ve always been creative but my problem was having a voice that is listened to seriously. So I am going to make some waves with this!

Earlier this year I started steaming on twitch! And I didn’t realise how much goes into it other than gaming and connecting with my audience. I absolutely love my followers and glad I can be personal with them. I love that we trust each other and have an open and genuine relationship. It’s a wonderful feeling.

The side of streaming I didn’t know was the branding. I enjoyed learning to use streamlabs with a capture card and green screen. And I love working with a designer to bring my vision to life with my logo, badges and emoticons. Next is my GIFS! I am also in talks with a musician for some bits as well!

Doing this has made me feel so empowered! I’ve been teaching myself or I’ve been learning from other streamers.

I really want to have a shirt made for me for my stream. So this will be a new goal for me to find a company that can make my image on a nice quality shirt!

Before I moved to England I used to network a lot. I knew people that did everything. But now since I moved I know nobody. It seem that once again I will be going to get myself out meeting people and networking again.

Find people that have passions that set their souls on fire! That have similar interests and we can help each other work together!

I will probably add more to this once I read more if his book. But just had to get this written down!

The link is posted below if you would also like to buy this great book!

Crushing It!: How Great Entrepreneurs Build Their Business and Influence-and How You Can, Too

Positivity Vlog!

Attempted doing a little positivity vlog for my twitch! Please let me know your feedback! I’ve been trying to find software that lets me do everything I need to but having to switch between a few for different things!

I love my cat!

I absolutely love my cat! My husband got her as a surprise for me. Something I never expected from him as he never had a pet growing up. But I have fallen in love with the way he has fallen in love with her!So 6 years ago I moved to London from Cleveland, Ohio. For my husband ofcourse! And it is very expensive to live for the very little space you get. But we have enough space for a kitty!Her name is Harley as we were told her breed can have some attitude. She is a Tortoiseshell! Her coat is extremely pretty but I find it hard to photograph.Like most cats she likes sleeping, eating and playing! She likes to sleep on her own and she likes to cuddle. So she does have a lot of independence which I love about cats in general! We have to have her on a diet because she is petite! The vet doesn’t want her getting too fat because of complications. And she lives to play which is where her personality really shines through!So my cat is a playing machine. She can play fetch! How cool is that!? And she will even initiate it when she wants to play by bringing her mouse to me.She also loves to play tag. I know that chasing your cat in most cases isn’t ideal. But she has an understanding of it. Our tag usually turns into a very fun hide and seek game! I will run to the bedroom or bathroom and hide around the corner and she will try to find me. She doesn’t run away to hide unless I actually acknowledge her. This is really funny. So if I don’t let on that she has found me she tries to get my attention so I know. Then she will run and hide in the living room and I will pretend to look in places she is not. Then by the time I go to the spot she was in originally she will move. So cute. Then we make eye contact and I run away and hide again.I love playing games with her. I like to keep her fit as she is an indoor cat. We live by a busy road that cars don’t stop at the zebra crossings when people are on them. So they definitely wouldn’t stop for her.Also, this will freak you out. But because I have inflammatory bowel disease I can spend a lot of time in the toilet. But she likes to be around and keep me company. If I start walking to the toilet she sprints to beat me there. Some people would find this relationship weird but it works for us!She also likes to be in the bathroom when I have a bath. She likes to come in and have a nap and regularly check one to make sure I am okay and not drowning. She probably wonders how I can be in the water for that long. But it is cute that she checks on me if I don’t move for a while when I am relaxing.My husband absolutely loves when Harley is cleaning herself. He thinks it is absolutely adorable that she takes care of herself.I know most cats love boxes! A lot would prefer the box to whatever you bought them. But we can’t give her boxes as she strips it into pieces and eats it. She can’t digest all that fiber well. Plus we looked up and it is not safe as how the boxes are made.But we did invest in a cat tree! She loves sleeping on her tree and watching everything out in our yard! Also loves the scratch posts on it!The most recent toy we got was a tunnel. She loves to run through it! Occasionally she likes to pop her head out of the holes in it. She likes when you throw her mouse in there!Harley has made me feel a lot less lonely here. A lot of people would tell you that Londoners or English people are very fake. I find this to be true after 6 years. I miss all of my family and friends back home! I’m so glad I have Harley! I’d rather spend a day with her than someone who seems to always cancel plansAnyone else in love with their cat? Pets over other humans right? Lol

I’ve for better videos but they are lost in my phone. Sorry!

Do something small today!

Okay! So I have been being a homebody for a while now. I was trying to improve my skills on fortnite that I didn’t have time for anything else.

Today I decided I would do something small that would make me feel better about myself. I thought about something I haven’t done for a while that I used to enjoy. So I decided to write a letter to my best friend.We have been writing each other since we were 12 and 13! I am now 32! That is 20 years of writing to each other!!! At my age that is hard to believe I’ve done something for that long!

When I was in Hong Kong earlier this year I got myself a bunch of Gudetama stamps! And they have just been sitting in a bag until today. So I got them out and stamped like crazy!!! I stamped the inside of the card and the envelope! This brought me a lot of joy as my bestie knows how much I love Gudetama!The next bit was writing to her.

She came to visit me this year! I’ve been living in London for 6 years and find it the most depressing city on Earth! People are fake here! They throw everyone under a bus to get ahead! Nobody has any real friends here it is all just to keep appearance. The ones that do have friends well they all do drugs together. The only time they can be themselves around others is when drugged. So for her to come here and for me to have a real friend on London only for a short time meant everything to me!

So I took the time to thank her for coming all this way. And I congratulated her on graduating as she went back to school! And it felt really nice to writing this letter/card to her! I got all excited! And the best bit is she is going to be so happy when it arrives!

We love getting snail mail! Most people just get junk mail and bills. But we write each other and send care packages! It might cost more than an email but the rush of excitement I get when I receive anything from her makes me all happy! And the same for her when I send to her.

So I did something small today. I wrote a letter to my best friend it ended up being 11 pages long!. It makes me happy that I continue our tradition of writing. And it makes me happy as I know it will bring her happiness too!

Have you done something small today for yourself or someone else? Please share it in the comments!

I got bullied.

The question I’ve been getting asked a lot since I started streaming was if I got bullied. Growing up a I got bullied a lot!

I got bullied at school every day. So many times where I would end up cutting myself to see if I could feel any pain. I didn’t really care if I died as I didn’t have to walk into a school where it would be hell for me everyday.

It wasn’t just the students that bullied me but the teachers too. When I was in 7th grade a teacher was being mean to me in front if the whole class. I said a couple things as a joke to maybe get her off my back. But it escalated quickly. She told me that her entire family was going to put me 9 feet under. I was a teenager so I said it is only 6 feet. She replied with my family it is 9 feet. What happened was I got kicked out of school when the teacher complained. They didn’t investigate the teacher or ask any of the other students what happened. That year I won the most awards in the school as I participated a lot.

The following year when I returned I didn’t like school. I became afraid of the teachers as well. I don’t think I won any awards that year and I became ill a lot as well. I then had to deal with a teacher that would throw all my books on the ground and soon as she walked in. All my papers, homework everything would go flying. I had to pick this up by myself everytime and I would usually just leave the class when this had happened.

Computer Lab was even more damaging. Being in middle school with teenageboys going through puberty. The guys used to take air in a can for the keyboards and spray my breasts with it. So I feared if the teacher ever had to pop out of the room for a moment. How could I ever go get help about that. Far too embarrassing.

Also, when I hit puberty I didn’t like going outside. I hated being on my period. I still hate getting my period. So instead of going outside and exercising I stayed inside and ate candy bars. A few days after going to cross country practice I got a letter in the mail. It seems one of my classmates was on holiday in California and heard I got fat. So I was posted a newspaper clipping of an obese person with diet information that specifically told me I was that obese person. I started crying and my mom asked me what happened. I never told my mom about getting bullied by my peers. But I showed her this and she cried too. She couldn’t believe it as well. But I don’t think she informed the school either.

I wasn’t a popular kid growing up. I wasn’t sure if the few friends I had were even my friend. The girl that was supposed to be my best friend had different friends at school. We didn’t talk much at school I guess I didn’t want to ruin her reputation.

In high school there was a popular kid yelling at a non popular kid. I told off the popular kid. Then the teacher yelled at the unpopular kid. I explained what happened to the teacher that the popular kid was bullying the unpopular kid. The teacher got pissed at me. I was proud of myself for standing up for this kid he was always getting picked on. About 2 minutes later the vice principal was in the room to take who out of the class? Not the one who bullied or got bullied but me. I thought why am I the only one getting taken to the office? The vice principal said you are getting a 4 hour Saturday detention for what I did. To this dad I don’t know the reason it was never explained. I can only assume now that I am older that the teacher must have thought I was taking back to her.

Nobody at our school ever listened. I think within a couple years after O graduated a kid committed suicide from my high school. He was apparently bullied a lot. I can only wish I fought the system more and stood up for myself more that maybe that kid would of had a chance. If he got punished for doing good things as well. I will never know everything that happened in his case. I just hope that schools deal with things better. Now that all these kids have phones and even more bullying can happen. I just hope people learn it is wrong and don’t do it.

I always wanted to get out of school younger so I could work. I thought at work none of this childlike shit happens. Let me tell you now. Every single job I’ve had I’ve been bullied at. People still act like they are 3 at the office as well. So study hard and get yourself your own business.

My Wallflowers

To all of you wallflowers reading my blog.. I just wanted to say a huge thank you for being there!! I know some of you don’t write comments on here but will inform me as soon as they love something I have written.

So I wanted to say thank you. Thanks for letting me know my writing helps you. Thanks for letting me know you feel inspired by me. Thanks for being patient while I am vulnerable and thanks for being empathetic and understanding when I voice myself about a difficult situation.

I really appreciated all of you that stop by. It is really sweet of you. I try to write the emotions I feel. I can only hope I can express well what I am feeling for you to have the best picture of what I am trying to explain and going through.

It’s always nice to know I’ve done something to make someone else’s day better. Whether it is sharing an experience with them or giving advice.

But I would be interested in knowing any topics you would like me to write about. It could be anything and I would be happy to share my opinion with you!!!

Thanks everyone!! Lots of love to you!!!

Twitch Streaming Noob

From not know what twitch was when the year started to finding out about giving it a shot. I had just gone through a difficulty period in life and needed to be reminded of little things to make me happy.

I figured since I was going to be picking up my controller I might as well share my happiness with other people. After all I know so many people are going through good and bad moments at any given time.

People have been really encouraging and supportive since I started my stream. And I really enjoyed all of the compliments I’ve got since improving my stream. Better internet so the image isn’t choppy. Capture card so I can use OBS. A camera so my viewers can see me. And most of all my designer getting my designs ready! I’ve got my logo and panels that makes my page look more professional! That is something I was very happy about yesterday! I wanted them to give feedback on the design. It has all been positive so far!

I am really thankful with everyone who gives their suggestions and feedback. It has been awesome! I love that people will voice their ideas to me when I ask.

The next step for my is figuring out my green screen. This is going to be put on hold for a bit while I have my best friends from America in town. A little vacation from twitch.

I just put 19 hours of work in that ended at 7am London time today. I did 6 hours if research. Which has helped me learn more about how to use the OBD software I use. And then I did a 13 hour stream!

I was extremely proud of myself and people said it was nice to see a streamer so dedicated.

I’ve also got my first two donations and my first three subscriptions! This was huge for me! After a couple of months starting to see the work I put in and the appreciation from others. I’m very happy about this!

Every day I feel like I am connecting with people. Helping them out in life. Either making them happy or by being able to listen to them and what they Re going through. I don’t have all the answers what I do have 31 years of experience at life! So I try to help them the best I can.

If we can all do what we love the world would be a better place right? I love video games and I love helping to add value to the lives of people I meet. Pass that kindness around everyone! Lets all help each other achieve their goals!

Happiness – Escaping Toxic

I have had to have a hard look at what was stealing my happiness. And I am glad I did so I could make adjustments to my life. I had to remove toxic conditions, people and gym from my life.

I don’t go somewhere everyday I hate and this feels great. I have finally been able to talk about a really traumatic experience. I have removed people who are always negative towards me. And I don’t go to a gym that is full of stuck up yuppies who aren’t comfortable in their own skin. I have surrounded myself with kind people and I have started walking and running as it is free.

I feel my head is a lot more clear now so I can start healing and be the person I am meant to be.

Instead of being upset that I don’t have a house or I don’t have kids yet. I am happy I have a flat I live in and a wonderful husband who loves me. I am appreciating what I do have. I am changing my mind as it became toxic from being around others. Which is why I haven’t been writing. I didn’t want to be negative and complaining all the time. I wanted to get my sh*t together.

So when I was asked to write again. And asked about the reasons the person gave me to write again. I had to get back to it. Even if I help just one person, that is everything. I don’t need to reach the entire world. I just need to help one person and if I can do that then I am really happy inside!

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog everyone! I really appreciate it! Leave some comments if you get a moment or let me know you blog so I can read your articles to.